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Is it that time of the year already?   
11:52pm 01/10/2010
  Yep I've hit it, that oh so wonderful moment in the semester where everything is happening at once and you get that OH SHIT moment...yep I'm there.

I thought I could handle you know seven classes(this is me we're talking about right I BS everything and still somehow pull out decent grades. Yeah I don't know either) But between Tuesday and tomorrow and ugh I'm not sure anymore.

Tuesday I get to my french class only to realize I didn't have the poetry take home test that was due. Nope gone at home. Luckily my professor gave me until 2 to email it to her. All well and good but it meant blowing off the rest of my classes for the day in order to get home and email it by two. There was also a period where my friends are crying about how late they were up when the whole test probably took me less than two hours and now I'm worried I really missed something.

But anywho blowing off classes meant that I once again missed Creole ( a one day a week class where participation and attendance is mandatory, which is bad since I've already skipped it once since I was having fun at RUSH) and my Drama class which meant I missed any info on whatever the hell tomorrow's midterm is going to be on. My only consolation is that it is only 10% of my grade and there is no way to completely destroy my grade in the class with it. Especially since I know she'll freak when I do my project next week.

Beyond that I'm active in AphiO this semester which I don't know how I feel about yet. I missed being with everyone but at the same time I didn't miss the drama or the stress...but yeah.

I'm also hoping to be active in the Political Science Honor Society. I was going to do English as well but the fact that they seem largely defunct and disorganized...eh I don't need that kind of stress.

I think I will see about joining the French Honor Society though, depending on who hits the meeting tomorrow anyway.

My thesis chair ditched me again which I suppose can be excused due to Clinton being on campus, but still it's frustrating. I'm scheduling everything for my proposal and I'm still missing a committee member and Dr. Young is you know wanted by everyone and their brother so he's traveling everywhere and ugh. Choosing important people for your thesis chair apparently can backfire.

Still incredibly excited and working to plan out the Fleet Street Masquerade though. My costume is doing really well and I just hope Makoto's gets here soon. I've got more halloween decorations and even though some of  my ideas have been labeled Evil but Emi, well I think it'll be damned amusing. It's also sounding like quite a few brothers will be there which is good since I really need to reconnect with them.

I think that's it. I'm apparently joining Ashlyn at the gym MWF at I dunno 7:30 -8:00 something like that. And I'm trying to rope her into taking some of the dance classes or trying spinning with me. I will not let Makoto weigh less than me that would be just weird. Granted he's got like 20 pounds to go but I need to head this thing off at the pass. I really need to kill the weight I've gained since the wedding too, this seven pounds is just pissing me off now. XD		  
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11:22pm 25/09/2010
  I know I haven't written in awhile, and I guess I'm here now for advice even though it's a tad awkward (especially when I know you read this Alex : /) But I honestly realized I'm too emotionally cut off to deal with real things. I guess that is why it always feels flat when I write about it.

I missed Alex, you know I've reached the point where yes I realize our friendship will take work mostly by me, and I don't mind it really I think it's worth it and I love him as if he were my brother, more I think sometimes.




I know I've never really been there for Alex the way I should you know, everytime something would go wrong I'd nod, smile uncomfortably, and fidget waiting for something thoughtful and meaningful to come out of my mouth to make everything better.

I sent him a text, you know something cute and simple "Miss you" he immediately called back which probably should have been an indication fo something was wrong. He ALWAYS texts back and that's how our conversations always end up.

On September 6th, 2008 Robert Angelo Hoffman was killed. He was 24. And that is about as scary as it gets. I can't ...I don't want to imagine especially now that my brother and I have gotten so close. Then of course my mind continues on it's self-absorbed track to think what if it had been Alex? My Alex?

But there I am on the phone hearing about the wake, and feeling completely useless once again. What the fuck do I say besides hey I'm sorry I love you and you're welcome here anytime you need to get away. What good am I if I can't make my closest and oldest friend feel better? Shouldn't the words come natural to a writer that loves writing about death? Or maybe I write about it because I can't face it in real life.

I don't think I've ever wanted to hug somebody so much in my life...if I didn't have a test tomorrow and if he didn't have class early in the morning you can bet I would be driving out there tonight.


I feel so useless...		  
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I guess an update is necessary   
05:48pm 12/09/2010
  Soo erm

I'm looking into joining a few honor societies, so that will be fun. I'm definitely joining the french honor society because well I graduated highschool with a french honor chord I figure it would be nice to graduate college the same way. I'm also looking into helping reactivate the Political Science Honor Society and seeing what is going on with the English Honor Society.

I've decided to apply to graduate school (yes mainly UCF, I don't really want to move just yet, in fact I've been told by quite a few people I'm not allowed and what can I say the school really grew on me. Rollins is a possibility but I dunno I haven't heard the best things about their graduate programs and I really want somewhere where I know I'm getting a good education and where I feel comfortable. UCF has given me great opportunities and I want to keep making them proud.) There are some decent jobs that I can get that will have flexible enough schedules to allow that and since Makoto really makes enough money to take care of us, my job can go towards paying for school and helping out with bills as necessary I guess. I don't mind if I take forever to get my Master's I just want to get it. XD. But then knowing me I'll just want the Ph.D after that. I think it would be awesome to be Dr. Schoppert without doing that whole medical thing and having to worry about cutting people open.

erm, I think I am stopping my guitar lessons for awhile mainly because I don't have time number 1. The guy keeps calling me when I told him I just didn't have time for a lesson this week, but he insists on rescheduling. Then he has the audacity to complain when I gave him $35 the agreed on amount, insisting it was $40 when he's now charging $30 on craigslist. : / plus he's no that great of a teacher, he's not doing anything I couldn't do on my own without chucking that money out the window.

Umm much fun to be had my brother took me to a farmer's market today, saw lots of terrifying things and lots of cheap fruit and veggies, ended up buying stuff I don't need and now have to figure out what to make with them but it's all good. I also bought some fruit that looks like a sea urchin (I picked it up not knowing what it was and Quinn's like that's probably alive. I freaked out for a second before realizing it was really fruit) so we decided to make Makoto try it. (Give it to Mikey he'll eat anything XD).

I feel like such a cook for having so much fun at a farmer's market and being able to tell how fresh everything was and marveling at the prices. They had Bok Choy really cheap which is like the healthiest vegetable on the planet so now I want to find something to do with it. Guess it's off to the cooking lj community for me!		  
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Yay Shopping and parties!   
08:28am 10/09/2010
  So I've already done some shopping for the Fleet Street Masquerade, and thanks to Emi the invitations (at least the first batch) are done. Now I just have to wait for mother to get home from her cruise to help me with my costume and then Emi and I can start planing out how to decorate. I still haven't decided about doing the streamers again, : / I also want to try and see if there is anywhere that I can get the fog machine to work without like turning off the air lol.

Going along with that, I also told Makoto what I want for my birthday which shows that he might really be my husband and know me better than I know myself because it's exactly what he's been wanting to get me but I kept telling him no. (I was being all wifey and saying I wanted a new mixer but then I'm like really how often do I bake? And the smoking really isn't that bad.) It's a Digital SLR camera, I realized that having fun taking artistic shots with my tiny  (but 12 mp) camera was not as cool as if it was with an SLR and I think it would look more professional and get more people to pose like crazy wild people for me.

Makoto really wants to do this videographer/photographer team but I'd be so afraid of taking nothing but bad shots if I were to do it professionally but who knows once I get some practice in with the thing maybe. (As if I don't spend enough time with him already. God we're the sickeningly cute married couple aren't we?)

Well off to class! yippy skippy for strategic weapons and arms!

  
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01:30pm 08/09/2010
  So the UCF game was alot of fun. I love tailgating and having the stadium right on campus of course rocks because then everyone is right there to just continue the party right after the game.

We got penalized 104 yards and had one of our touchdowns taken away but we still managed to tie the game which was impressive. I think the official time was three hours without a penalty for USF which was slightly suspicious but not enough to ruin the game I guess. Our quarterback was a bit of a pussy trying to do all the same plays from last year when our runningback kicked ass, once he learns to pass the ball UCF will have a great team. BTW that 91 yard touchdown yes! That was so awesome! And complete proof that USF played like crap there's no way a ranked team should have let that happen. Their coach was pissed too.

But busy sooo busy really shouldn't have taken so much time out for the football game but it really seems like they are not enough home games to satisfy, plus it's so much fun to hang out with my brother.

Ummm other than that I've got everything ready to make the Fleet Street Masquerade invitations so yeah everyone should be expecting those pretty soon. I'm thinking I am going to have people RSVP too just so I know who is coming and can plan appropriately. Also to make sure I have room in my house for everyone that is planning on coming. XD. It is after all the biggest party I throw all year.

Met with Dr. Bledsoe about my thesis and it's nice to have some really give me better direction on how to prove what it is that I want to prove. I also got the "it's not a novel" thing that I think I needed to hear. But still he thinks it's got alot potential and I guess you can't ask for anything more.		  
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12:16am 03/09/2010
  I hate when this happens. When I've reached the point that I've got so much stuff to do that I'm just going to solve my problem by not doing any of it. It somehow always worked in highschool and it doesn't seem to be serving me quite as well in College (granted my grades are better but the problem is more severe if that makes any sense at all. And the grades are better because well either my teachers take pity on me or someone else does my homework and takes my tests while I'm passed out somewhere)

right now I'm trying to find any work that justifies not reading 27 pages of medieval french literature. I mean come on I barely got through Beowulf in English Literature I, ask Emi she was there sitting behind me reading something that wasn't Beowulf, but I promise you that my stories were much better. XD. But no now I'm supposed to read the french version, I don't think so, not happening groan. It's old french it's impossible to read even for french people I don't have a moyen-age francais dictionaire my dictionary 230,000 translations that it has doesn't even have half the poetry terms I'm supposed to know. My french teacher takes great pride in switching to English for the stuff that doesn't matter and getting frustrated with the fact that she can't speak english and then switching to french. Ugh, either all or none the switching back and forth screws with my head

so 19 credits, 7 classes, and really it's 21 but I opted to have one class only count for 1 credit so that I could still take it and not break the college's academic suicide rules or something. Creole Lit is fun and while it is in english it's alot of reading for me to catch up on and writing discussion questions for these silly little articles isn't easy.

On a happier note my mother and I picked out all the fabric and trim for my Mrs. Lovett costume and it's going to be great. I picked out some fabrics that weren't exactly like hers but they were ones I liked better, so there. XD. Plus I'm not doing all of her top sheer because well I have a fear of showing too much on the chance that well I drink, which yeah is a good possibility. So part of the shirt will be real cloth and part will be this interested lace cloth thing...I dunno. Suffice it to say it'll be Mrs. Lovett but not. I just need to figure out how to do my hair.

I can't wait for all the stuff for the invitations to come in so I can start putting them together and handing them out in enough time that everyone should be able to come.		  
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YES! GREAT SEATS AND AN AMAZING PARKING PASS!   
06:15pm 31/08/2010
  So it's official we're tailgating and we have amazing seats for the UCF/ USF game this Saturday. I am literally boucing off the walls in excitement!

Oh! and I have an extra ticket if anyone would want to sit with us and hey tailgate with us too! Makoto and I are great cooks when it comes to grilling and if I know my husband he'll rig something up to keep us amused all day.

I have two other tickets that are a few rows behind us if anyone wants those, and again you're welcome to come tailgate with us too, we won't have room for everyone to drive there and back but you're welcome to get dropped off and hang with us!

I am broke so I am selling the tickets for a best offer, mainly the pair on craigslist right now and I'm gonna see if any of our friends are up for the extra seat by Makoto, my brother and I.

I soooo cannot wait! I'm looking up grilling recipes, borrowing the canopy from my parents and even though I highly doubt UCF will win it is going to be a great game.

My brother is so funny, he went to both schools so he's thinking he wants a new USF hat to wear to the game, and we got tickets from a season ticket holder, so I'm thinking the section we're sitting in won't take kindly to a USF supporter in their mist. XD.		  
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10:32am 31/08/2010
  Well so I screwed around with my schedule became best friends with the people at the Honors college and it was fun.

I actually loved the fact that the Honors college called me and said okay don't worry about Dr. Young signing it just get Dr. Jewett to sign it as Department Chair. Thing is, he's not allowed to sign it until my thesis chair does. I figured they talked to him and all was well. I go there and he's like I can't sign this. I'm like erm the Honors college said you would anyway because they'll create the class once they get your signature. He's like well....He looks at the form well since this is Directed Reading II I'm going to make the assumption that he knows he's your thesis chair and I'll sign it.

Hehe yay for convincing people to break policy for me. That's why I love the Honors college they always just assume that the rules don't apply to them.

After that I also decided to take another class, Creole Identity in the French Speaking World, which I had to get an overide for, which mean yet another visit to Dr. Jewett. (By this time I've been chilling in the political science office for three days straight, though two of which Quinn was there to keep me company). We laughed about it and I promised I wouldn't bother him again for awhile and he's like yeah I don't want to see you back for awhile, but I'm kidding you need anything come right back to me and I'll take care of you.

Dr. Jewett is great because he lives in his office and is there whenever a student needs him, he has office hours but they really don't mean anything, you can hit the poli sci office anytime and you're likely to be able to meet with him.

Oh so now I'm taking 19 credits this semester and I think I am going to apply for a job at Spirit at Fashion square since they're apparently desperate for people, the only thing is I have to have Saturday night off because I'd rather not have the job than miss that game, though Quinn wants me to go to the Magic game with him on the 29th of October, which with a job at Spirit I'll probably be working. : / But to be fair I'm seeing football games with him, maybe I could convince Makoto to go if I'm working.

I got new strings and picks for my guitar, as well as a new music book that should hopefully encourage me to pratice the fun stuff. BTW Sam Ash is the best place in the world to kill a few hours, we went threre and just had fun in every part of the store, we lost track of time so much that we ended up pulling into our driveway at the same time that my parents and brother were knocking at my door to pick me up for the game. XD. I snuck into the van while Quinn wasn't looking and he kept knocking on the door which amused me.


so yeah as long as I keep my GPA up and actually finish this thesis I'm sitting great for May and with a good shot at getting decent money for grad school. Yay!		  
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Slovenia anyone?   
01:32pm 25/08/2010
  So yeah I ordered something...that as far as I know is completely legal in Florida (no idea why states would care about it but I've heard rumors that some do.) and I totally thought it was direct from China. All the packaging seems to indicate China but then it says if undeliverable please return to: Slovenia, Europe. I think that's awesome I've never gotten anything from Slovenia before. It's kind of exciting. I think I want to start a collection of things mailed from other countries written in the native tongue it would be cool

Anywho on to what I ordered. It's this new miracle fruit craze thing. I just had to try it (and no not just because someone suggested it might make semen taste good that is definitely too much for girls to hope for, for the most part anyway. And there's my check mark for making Emi blush today XD). I figure if it works and it does really make sour and bitter foods taste sweet then maybe I have a theme for the halloween party. I can have really strange foods and plenty of the tablets lying around.

I hear there's a whole group that travels from city to city organizing these things so it might be fun to do one of my own.

I might post pictures later if anyone is interested and if I try it out tonight I'll definitely fill you guys in on whether or not it works.		  
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Lessons, Lessons and Lessons   
01:03am 20/08/2010
  Looks like my Guitar Lessons maybe starting on Thursday
Japanese Lessons begin on Saturday

and actual you know college classes begin on Monday here is my schedule

MWF
Strategic Weapons and Arms 9:30-10:20

MW
ADV Nonfiction Workshop 3:30-4:20

TuTh
French Lit 10:30-11:45
Modern Drama as Lit 1:30-2:45

Magazine Writing - Online

Directed Thesis Reading II - Independent

so yeah oh the fun

I'm still debating sitting on the Contemporary Revolution and Political Violence class, it meets on Wednesday from 6:00 till 8:50 I believe. Long class and I've heard the Professor is crap but it's a class I've been wanting to take since I took the Poly Sci major. So I'm still debating  :/ being an overachiever who is actually really really interested in their field is crap. The workload sucks and the fact that my notes for my thesis have already filled an entire notebook is just sickening, way over 100 pages of notes and I haven't even finished sorting through all the highlights and margin notes of all my books in order to figure out what I need to hone in my thesis and what can be cut out.

Really though there's nothing ambitious about laying down guidelines for an African UN to disperse foreign aid funding and monitor corruption and violence in African countries is there? I mean while it seems like it's logicial and it totally makes sense in my head the fact that none of my research suggest that someone else has suggested something of this nature makes me think there are more loopholes than I'm seeing. Not that I'm saying my idea is flawless or even workable but that it's a possible solution that should at least be discussed. Though really my mind is getting so specific with it I swear my thesis is going to end up being like 200 pages long, and my committee is going to shoot me dead. :)		  
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12:38pm 19/08/2010
  Has anyone else been to alehouse and tried the new legalized Absinthe? I had it mixed with syrup and sweet and sour because honestly no one drinks absinthe for the taste (of course I've never had it before...ahhh the dark and sordid past I'm not telling my husband about ;) ) but Makoto tried it as a straight shot. Still takes exactly like a watered down jager which really except for it being green I don't see what the thrill is...yes if you get the right stuff it's supposed to be hallucenigenic but still...

Wired had an article about the only kinds of legal absinthe are the ones that have basically none of the things that make it induce hallucinations so really except for the novelty of there is really no reason to drink the legalized stuff.

I took a picture though and then Makoto had fun with his iphone taking pictures. I still don't see the difference between his and mind but I guess he does.

Guess Japanese lessons are going to be starting soon for Makoto and I, which is good it would be nice to be able to read the letters his grandmother sends us or be able to talk to her when he finally takes me to Tokyo.		  
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Bigger and Better Things   
09:53am 18/08/2010
  I'm on this whole better myself kick which I have no idea how I'll have time for but we'll figure it out somehow.

First off I'm having Makoto force me through a weight training workout everyday which is very hard for me for two reasons. 1. I hate working out in front of people I don't know why but I'm incredibly self conscious and for some reason even more so around my husband. 2. With my ankles deformed or screwed up or something I can't move the right way to do certain exercises, Makoto is finally realizing just how lame my legs are.

Then I'm looking into not only guitar lessons but also Japanese lessons for both Makoto and I. He has always wanted to learn and I found a tutor so it'll be interesting. I just hope it doesn't screw with my french. I'm terrified about getting through French Literature this semester granted I've always been better at reading French than being able to hear people speak and know what they say but at alot of my friends were happy to get out of this class with a C and well I need an A a B at least. Honors doesn't take well to C's : /.

Makoto is also telling me I can take piano lessons with his teacher if I would like to get back into that. So how fun five classes, a thesis to work on (which I actually have to submit stuff for this semester and write and get ready to prepare my defense), guitar lessons, japanese lessons and piano lessons...goodbye what little semblance of life I had. XD I'm going to become like the weird Chinese kids that lived down the street from me growing up. Each of their kids had like 10 different after school lessons to learn.

I've also been trying to eat even healthier (my dinners usually rock I made Chicken stir fry with creamed corn. It's a chinese dish in honor of the beijing olympics which we've been watching a hell of alot lately.). I've gotten addicted to green smoothies. I make mine with a fresh banana, frozen strawberries and cherries, a cup of fat free yogurt (whatever flavor I have on hand or feel like using) and then some ice. Make sure to blend the fruit before you start throwing in the "green". I've been using a few handfuls of spinach (which I normally despise) and I've been increasing it more and more because you really can't taste it. I've also been throwing in some egg white since Makoto wants more protein in his diet and he tends to steal at least half of my smoothie. ;)

Today I am off to the grocery store for more yogurt, and to get stuff to retry the diet cheesecake  I made. I think I used the wrong milk and it just came out pretty awful so I'm going to try it again....this time with SWEETENED condensed milk : /. I also want to scope out their fruit...I'm like a crazed person now wondering what different things I could try out in a green smoothie, I also want to find out what is the healthiest of the green veggies in order to make a healthier smoothie option as well.

BTW my legs are soo sore from the workout Makoto put me through yesturday I think I'm going to die in morning cardio (which I should start soon...go DDR) and my run tonight but that's good right?

I also want to hit Barnes and Noble because I'm realizing I'm going to need a really good french-english dictionary this semester and I kinda want to check out their photoshop books to see what other crazy things I can learn to help get my new business off the ground.		  
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Mrs. Schoppert   
02:15pm 16/08/2010
  I'm still not used to my new last name, I really miss the old one actually. It makes me feel like I'm not as connected to my real family anymore, instead I'm tied to this other family that makes me feel uncomfortable and are really just people I would rather not associate with. I know it's all in my head, I still see my family all the time, even more now that my brother is free. It's nice to be able to see him more often, really  need to go bowling again that was fun.

Anywho I don't know I mean I love having that extra connection to Makoto in much the same way that he adores finding ways to mention his wife in conversations. He says he thinks having a wife speaks better to his character and it makes him feel special. XD Hard to believe after all the craziness I went through to try and find someone that would stand by my side through everyone (trust me I did some crazy things in my relationships in the past) I never would have thought when we first started talking that it would be Makoto who would steal my heart. I still can't believe it actually, but everyone agrees what a great guy he is. My grandfather still can't believe I convinced someone like Makoto to marry me : /.

I used to lie to him, when we first started going out I told him all sorts of crazy angsty things in order to get his constant attention, to get him to promise to rescue me and to talk to me for hours. I don't know why I mean I never really had any close friends in highschool, there was no one I could talk to about anything. Asha and I had kinda grown apart and moved away from each other so there was no one to run down the street everytime I had a crisis and my friends then were well, they weren't exactly people I could talk to. Senior year got a little better in that I had suedo friends, sure they were drama filled and wanted all the spotlight on them but at least I could talk to them about what was going on with me and you know how to fix the whole cutting thing I had gotten into.

By the way I've really become a believer of the once you've done something it's easier to see it in someone else, I remember walking the halls of Timber Creek one day to bother old teachers like I do (why did you leave Hemann why?) when I saw this loaner, she was walking with a friend but you could tell she was still alone, and then she turned and her sleeve rode up and you could see all the cuts up her arm. It really kinda pissed me off that she was doing it it in such an obvious place and no one cared to stop her. Most of my scars are gone now but when the ones on my wrist got infected it took months for them to really heal and it bothers me that no one cared to look out for that girl. I had teachers that tried to look out for me, I was always getting sent to the counselors or the nurse's Tillery, Ricard, Eskin, Hemann, and Crawford, Lee and even Ruiz, they all tried in their own way to help me. And I opened up about how my parents were convinced I was trying to kill myself and were seriously going to institutionalize me it was a harsh and crazy time, my parents were constantly fighting with each other over what to do with me. Dad of course was constantly protecting me from my mother's temper and frustration...I really feel bad for what I put them through, they really didn't deserve that.

It's amazing to think back on how far I've come and how it's all because of Makoto, I'm out of those bad relationships that just encouraged my desires for cutting and attention, that encouraged drinking and drugs...it's amazing what you'll do when you're just so desperate to belong somewhere. Even years later it sucks to discover how little I belonged in the one little niche I had for so many years. But there are worse things than people ignoring wedding invitations and it's really hard for anything to get me down for long. Even when Makoto and I fight it's not long before one of us gets over it and cheers up the other.

I'm one lucky girl.		  
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Who knew?   
12:45pm 11/08/2010
  I think I may like this facebook thing, I've been playing around with the people you may know tool and I'm finding people I haven't talked to in years and it's kinda cool. Friends going all the way back to middle school, heck even the first friend I ever made here in Florida. Go figure.

Anywho I'm proud of myself for actually sticking to the C25K thing, and I'm ready for week 2 (which starts today!) and I think I might actually accomplish this. Being able to run three miles is something I never thought I'd be able to do which I don't know why I've never quite had the stamina for it. It's an exercise/sport I always thought would be good for me because I like just being alone with my thoughts.

Hope everyone else is going good!		  
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hmm   
08:21pm 10/08/2010
  I feel like my birthday came early this year and in a major way.

I've been doing alot of work in photoshop lately (and by alot we're talking hours a day...I'm beginning to realize why Makoto comes home tired after sitting in front of a computer all day.) so Makoto decided to spoil me and buy me a tablet. Which at first I was wary about but now that I've gotten used to the thing I'm steadily becomming addicted I can put my projects together so much easier now and with alot more precision. Which is great if I'm going to get into doing this on a larger scale for decent amounts of money.

Then my brother came over and brought me a burned copy of Lego Indiana Jones for the Wii, I've already gotten addicted espcially because it's two player and Makoto and I can have fun playing it together.

The day got better though because the three of us decided to go bowling, I sucked as usually but with copious amounts of alcohol and pizza (diet? nah you must have me confused with someone else, technically it was somewhat of a special occasion.) and then we all hung out at Makoto's and my house until about 4am.

The Digital Scrapbook for the wedding is coming along great and I can't wait to get it printed to see how it turns out.		  
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Health Insurance...ah the thrills of being independent   
04:47pm 05/08/2010
  So yeah I'm supposed to sign up for UCF health insurance, 100 bucks a month for really good coverage. Not bad at all, but me being the disconcerting wife I am wants hubby to be insured too. UCF wants an EXTRA $230 a month to insure him. Which is ridiculous. So I started looking around and found cheaper plans here and there but I have no idea what's good.

Then there are two things that bug me UCF Health Services offers free doctor's visits and subsidized testing and x-rays and whatnot. That's for all UCF students, they'll also do that for spouses as long as they have health insurance. GRRR If my spouse had health insurance I wouldn't worry about getting him cheaper health care.

The other problem is my mom wants me to get Maternity coverage....VERY expensive especially since I'm thinking there's no way in hell we're ready to have kids nor could we logically afford it or could I take care of one and finish school. But my mother is worried that accidents happen and we both know that I wouldn't be able to go through with an abortion no matter how pro choice I am.  (And that my friends is why it's called Pro-CHOICE)

I'm trying to figure out if it's worth paying about a thousand dollars more on the offchance that I get pregnant before I'm ready. If I get pregnant damn skippy I'll want it, but we're not stupid and we're being careful (we when get time to even get the chance to be careful).

But really the plans I'm looking at (with maternity) want $250 a month, and they'll only cover generic prescriptions, the deductible is 2,500 a person, and the percentage is like 20% with a $35 copay. The copay doesn't bother me considering that UCF will offer us free doctor's visits after that. But none of these seem to cover dental or eyes, or maybe they do and I'm missing it somehow but groan.

If only decent presidents would run and someone could get us affordable healthcare, otherwise I say we all become swiss and pay higher taxes for free medical and free education.		  
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11:31am 03/08/2010
  I think I am going to attempt this C25K program because when I run I don't have the stamina and it really feels like I'm going to have a heart attack which is really really bad for me. Everything else is falling into place but I can't run and I don't know what it is. Give me DDR for a few hours and we're good, give me a straight run for ten minutes and I'll be collapsed and dying....:/

So this program is supposed to gradually build you up to running and I think that is awesome I just need to find a stop watch somewhere.

On a site note Makoto and I are deep into season 2 of Dark Angel and watching episodes that even I haven't seen before and I realize this is the first time I've actually watched my dvds. (Bad considering how much these cost  I have all five seasons of Angel, both Seasons of Dark Angel and all 3? of Roswell and I think I've only even opened some of the Angel seasons  (Doyle still makes me cry!))		  
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09:33pm 31/07/2010
  Wedding pictures are Here!!

Yes I picked them up today and they are just so amazingly beautiful and funny. I don't know how I am going to try and put my scrap book together there are just too many pictures that I want!

And to think I was almost worried I had too many pages, now I'm thinking I'm going to need alot more!

  
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10:36pm 30/07/2010
  so yeah signed the mortgage paper...yay for being co-borrower or whatever. Interesting idea anyway, owning a home without having any real sort of job. Soon though! Soon!

I'm really sick of all this part time going no where means nothing work I mean sure I don't really want to take on a full-time 9-5 job while I still have a year left and my thesis is swallowing my soul, but still I just feel like such a complete loser and a mooch sometimes.

I think I'm just too damned used to getting everything handed to me on a silver platter, it's pathetic. I mean it's worse for my brother but at least he's had a real job at one point in his life. I thought when I met Makoto I was finally going to experience the real world you know, I had to pay for everything back then. (Granted it was with my parents money but to be fair I was only 17 at the time so any job I would have had then would have been shite anyway) I remember one time he wanted to take me to the movies but he didn't have enough money in his bank account and he wouldn't let me pay that time. It really started turning him around and he became the crazed success story he is today.

Even when I try for my crazy bohemian dream of working shit jobs to pay off a crappy apartment in pursuit of a righteous dream are foiled at every turn.

And really who am I kidding anyway all this research on Africa, these theories and ideals. I haven't even been there all I can do is read the books, the papers, the accounts, the newspapers (picking french for a foreign language really came in handy there) and watching the movies and news reports. But in the end I'm just another outsider acting like I can "fix" Africa. Who the hell am I really?

One of my idols, who would probably hate to hear me call him that, is a war photographer, claims he retired but I'll believe it when he's dead, but I wanted what he had. To experience it, really. To say I was there, I saw Rwanda and it was hell on earth. There's so much power in that, so much strength and truth.

Makoto won't let me go, he refuses. He'll mention certain places and only if he goes with, but that's just pathetic. I can't claim to know what needs fixing and what is going wrong by staying where all the other rich white folk do just to get an African stamp in their globetrotter passport. Why stay in South African or Tanzania, when I've been working so hard with Congo-Kinsasha and Sudan? Why go to Egypt or Botswana and pretend like I experienced the way Africa is.

But I'm a hypocrite because I don't want to leave home, I'm not following through on any of the Washington jobs, because I really don't want to leave my family. But it's my only chance of really getting to work in Africa and making a real difference and having people listen and start really working on ways to unite Africa.

Maybe I shouldn't feel too guilty about focusing on school because without that I'm nothing anyway and I've got my whole life to save the world right? No one expects me to do it before I turn 25 anyway. ;)

Love to all		  
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The Dark Knight   
03:07pm 29/07/2010
  I thought I would post some stats on what may be my favorite movie of all time.

$155.34 million in it's first weekend. The highest weekend box office opening in history beating out Spider-Man 3 by over 4 million.

It also had the biggest opening day of all time getting over $67 million.

In it's first 10 days it has made over $300 million.

It is projected to beat out Titanic to become the highest grossing film in history.

Now I love this movie and I'll admit outright that my husband and I paid the 14 dollars a ticket to see it in IMAX. BUT for a movie to make that much money when the economy is in a recession is a little ridiculous. I mean I go to movies alot but only because it is what my mother and I do about every other week or so to spend time together. Sadly to say I rarely ever see the point in paying for a movie if it coming out of my own pocket (although I have paid for my mother and I to go because she spoils me rotten and I feel guilty sometimes).

But really how can people complain about gas and say they're struggling when they're going out to eat all the time and paying that much money to see a movie?

My husband isn't very good at managing finances in fact I wholeheartly expect him to be hauled away any day now for tax evasion because well he won't let me do it and he won't get around to doing it himself. He shrugs if off and says he'll just have to pay a fine...groan. Apparently my husband is hiding a money tree somewhere, and I'd complain more except I don't have a job and with the exception of scholarships and savings bonds I'm not contributing all the much to the family income. There's a job I really want and I'm qualified for but it's full time and I figure my grades and my thesis are too important to me to risk getting too caught up in a new job.

I am looking for part time options though and other avenues to make some more money. Ah c'est la vie. Is is bad that I'm a little annoyed that my husband tells his friends I'm writer? I mean yes I am I guess and it's what I've always wanted to be, but I'm slowly discovering I don't have the chops for it and now it's like there's this whole group of people that expect me to have a book published and I'm thinking that's not going to happen. I mean my thesis is going to get published but that's not something I can point out at bookstores or anything as something great. But then the people who became writers aren't the ones who let B's in writing classes get them down, heck many of them never took classes so maybe there's hope for me yet, despite what Hubbard thinks.

...though really I can't afford B's no matter what my teachers say about my fear of B's just an excuse for pity, no it's a very real fear I have to keep my GPA above 3.5 or all this work on my thesis will be for nadda. Considering how all consuming it is (I don't get out much) losing out on it would really just ruin my year.		  
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aeryn12
 
 
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